so, like ive decided that i just cant compete against all the other blogs i read with their "daily-outfit".
i just cant,
i wear all my clothes nearly all the time.
so i could only really do a "monthly-outfit".
and that kinda defeats the purpose right?

so, instead, im doing something like so way cooler.
im going to take a polaroid for everyday i have left in edinburgh.
yep, right till the very end in november.
woo hoo.
(ive got a few already, but because of break-ups i had to forfeit my beloved phone connecter cord to the compy. so when i can find a new one they'll be up faster than flash lightening!)

im so, like, excited right now.

some times i get all homesick for the stars.
up here, in the northern hempisphere, it seems like there's five.
at home there's no way you could count, there's just way too many of them.
ive always had really cool memories of getting out of the car at nite with my mum and dad and looking at the milky way. i always wanted to stay outside until i really couldnt look up any more.
the pictures dont really do it any justice,
but they were the best google could find me.


i washed my hair today, and i had it out while it was drying.
i think it's great when you see yourself everyday,
but when you change one thing or activity you realise somethings different.
like, i had really no idea how long my hair's got.
it's just past my shoulders.
but i'll never wear it out,
that would be too weird.


on other things;
it's super great but really not.
it wouldnt be worth it to ruin everything.
regrefully.

so much in the last 48 hours.
all im longing for is somekind of rest.
it'll be all over soon anyway.
why am i even bothering to worry?

so all i want to do today is pretend i live in a cloud world. all nice and soft and innocent. i should be happy today, today being my only day off this week, but im not. i feel all burdened and heavy and like im stuck in the mud. you know those hot days when you're irritated by what seems like nothing, but actually it's because just under the skin you're concerned and annoyed at the way the world seems to be. the way your life seems to be flowing. that has been my day so far, but i bought happiness-making make-up and it's all over my face in an attempt to make me lighter.

all i want to day, is to be as light as those clouds in the picture.

im too snotty to post.
sorry.

boxwars lastnite!! so sooo much fun.
even though there was way too much rum and sweaty punks.
but we all secretly love it.

running to this big, big white place feels far more important, more important than heading back to reality. and im wondering would it be such a bad idea? to just make a few-years detour away from my big red place? to try to put off what lies waiting for me? in this day and age, where people can do more of what they want to do (i guess in a way of self-preservation), why do i still feel like im not doing the "right thing" in this part of my life. not you know, getting my life all set up and shit.

honestly, my dont-give-a-fuck-mode is stronger than ever before. and for me, this is potentially the best thing i could ever do.