these are strange days. hopping from one train
of thought to another. sometimes the edges get blurred
and i almost forget where i am.
im not at all ungrateful or sorry (accept for the aboriginals back home, bloody brilliant australia [ahem, the government] said sorry!)
im not angry or upset. but i am feeling a bit weird, like i should be feeling these things but im not. and then i remember that i dont give a shit and neither should you, or you or you. i have to keep remembering that im only 23, ive got a year to go before i have to leagally go home, and that im enjoying being ambitionless (which by the way, is technically an ambition, just dont tell me...) i can wake up and not feel obligated to thinking of you or of me and you or of no-longer me and you (bu, i think we're gonna ace this, just you wait) it's kind of a little cool thing, to not feel obliged. and you all know what i mean...

what a head fuck. you and me. cant we just call it quits and get on with things? you´re arriving tomorrow morning. today´s morning i realised something that was bugging me while we had our relationship. this thing doesnt make me happy, but it doesnt make me mad either. it makes me feel disappointed. and to be honest, that is so much worse. it´s funny how the tables have turned, huh? well.... bring it on.

so i think i may have slighly developed a wee crush (considering it´s kind of all ive thought about all weekend.)
it feels nice, means i can get away from thinking about other things, which to be honest, i think is a pretty damned good thing.

now there´s two options as to who it could be...

a) david thewlis (the actor)

or

b) some one ive recently met (it wouldnt seem to fit if you knew who it was, you´d think id gone a bit crazy, or woozy.)

go on kids, get your thinking-caps on.

im sick. boo hoo.

it was -11 the other nite.

how awesome.



ive been thinking alot lately, and ive decided
that im tired and so over this. i just cant be bothered
and im sick of feeling this way and it´s boring
and i think it´d just be easier to forget it and
go over it. so that´s what im going to do.
im going to leave it all alone and push it
out of my brain.

boy oh boy. what a nite.
talk shit with people, drink too much white wine, get incredibly pissed
and hit on by a wee emo boy. aw, how cute.

im so much better than i thought id be after my yesterday break-down.
i woke up this morning and felt damned good.


as the M People say, "im movin on up, movin on out, time to break free, love cannot stop me... yeah"

oh yeah...