i feel funny again.
im pretty proud of myself that i dont feel anything in reaction to you and your news.

though, there is something i wasnt aware of.
and that, i think is going to be on my list of regrets when i eventually leave this country.
(did i just admit to that?!)
i wish, and hope, that in the future, i can make something work,
that when i have to go home and settle down,
that i can find something to make my white insides red again.
make it push all my iron through my veins and smash these well-worn heavy-boots.

some one to give me a birdseed suit.

rite, home to bed now, to try and push you all out of my dreams.
(well maybe not all of you..)